2014 TNF Preview: Steelers at Ravens

Tonight marks a very special occasion in NFL TV History. Tonight people around the nation will finally see what they haven’t been missing when Thursday Night Football airs on CBS. I’ve got reasons for you to watch (or not watch) this AFC North slug-fest.

(1-0) Pittsburgh Steelers at
(0-1) Baltimore Ravens

Why You Should Watch:

The AFC North Rivalry! The History! Joe Flacco deep balls! Ben Roethlisberger scramble drills!

Steve Smith is going to punch Ike Taylor in the kidney!

It’s on CBS! So everyone can watch it now!

Also, it’s so early in the season that neither team is irrelevant yet. Exclamation point!

emma-stone-excited

Why it Might Suck:

It’s a division rivalry that produces some of the most boring games of my generation. Steelers-Ravens is the match-up that old-school pundits like Mike Ditka and Chris Berman trot out as shining examples of the NFL’s “physical nature.” They see epic football the way it should be. What everyone else sees is sloppy 15-12 field goal fests on crap surfaces (looking at you Heinz Field). Sometimes “awesome defense” can be confused with “shitty offense.”

The Ravens are playing. That means we’ll be exposed to various talking heads of a mostly idiotic nature trying to softly step-around the Ray Rice situation. Some will try and credit the Ravens’ quick handling of the situation… months later. Others will act indignant and appalled… now that we all know how terrible this violence was. I will avoid this pregame nonsense like the plague. This is probably the worst situation the NFL could be in. Instead of celebrating Thursday Night Football for the masses, we have domestic violence front and center involving one of the teams. Fuck the NFL. They deserve this and more.

Phil Simms.

Posey Facepalm