Alright football fans, you knew it was coming. The trade deadline passed today at 4 PM Eastern time, so let’s break down some juicy trade action!

To wet the palette…

New England Patriots receive:
DT Isaac Sopoaga
-Eagles’ 2014 6th Round Pick

Philadelphia Eagles receive:
-Patriots 2014 5th Round Pick

Well, the Patriots’ injuries at the defensive tackle position have been well documented this year following loss of Vince Wilfork to an achilles tear. Tommy Kelly has been hampered with a knee injury as well, meaning depth along the interior of New England’s line has been suspect. Teams have been finding oodles of success up the middle, a place that used to be a strength. Trading for Sopoaga (with the Niners in 2012) gives them a cheap upgrade and an instant starter. Interestingly enough, the Patriots 5th rounder will likely be towards the end of the round, while the Eagles’ pick in the sixth will obviously be in the top half with the way their record is looking. So this is what, a swap of maybe 20 spots? That’s a fantastic value for Sopoaga, who has great experience at being a 3-4 defensive tackle.

And now for the rest of the trades….

Wait. That was it?

That’s right everyone, that was the ONLY TRADE THAT HAPPENED TODAY.

Yeah, I kid you not. In the first year that the trade deadline was moved from week six to week eight, we were supposed to get more realized trades. With teams more aware of their season’s prospects, the likelihood of their dumping assets to acquire draft picks was supposed to increase. Jared Allen’s a free agent at the end of the year? Let’s see if we can secure a fourth round pick for him. Josh Gordon is a substance abuse strike away from missing a year? Let’s wrangle a third rounder out of somebody.

Instead of big names changing teams, we saw NOTHING. We should all feel ashamed of ourselves for following these rumors so closely. Adrian Peterson was never changing teams, no matter how much the Cowboys wanted to “make a big move.”

The reasons no trades happened? First, every NFL team runs different systems and schemes. It’s nigh impossible to trade an impact player and see that investment immediately returned. Outside of running back and maybe defensive end, it’s awfully difficult for a new player to pick up a new system and be effective within a week or two. If a reciever was traded to the Patriots, it’d take him three weeks before Belichick even let him on the playing field.

Second? The salary cap. Teams don’t have a lot of wiggle room in the middle of the season, especially if they’re contenders. They typically have quarterbacks eating up a high percentage of their salary, meaning they don’t have room to bring on some running back’s fat contract without dumping someone (or multiple someones).

So go home NFL trade deadline. You’re drunk.