Debuting over the weekend at the MTV VMA’s (is that even a thing anymore) where she won a moon man for “Bad Blood”, Taylor Swift’s newest video is here for immediate repetitive consumption. So if you don’t mind, stop wasting my effing time and press play.

-Okay, let’s run through this plot real quick. Classic film actress (T-Swizzle) falls in steamy love with leading man actor while shooting on location in Africa. They enjoy passionate nights in a tent while surrounded by friendly wildlife and epic landscapes.,, only that’s not true at all? They’re just on a movie set the entire time? And now they’re arguing all the time? And when the movie has its fancy premiere, the leading man is married, which of course is super distressing to our protagonist, who then leaves the theater in a huff. Were they ever in love at all? Did they even make out? WERE THEY EVER IN AFRICA? DAMMIT TAYLOR I NEED ANSWERS.

…sorry. Did I miss anything? No? Okay, good.

-I quite expected and enjoyed the literal depiction of the lines “his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room.” Pretty much saw that coming since I first heard the song and was not disappointed.

-The safari setting serves as both a fun interpretation of “wildest dreams” (see what she did there) and a perhaps veiled jab at Katy Perry’s “Roar” video, if you’re looking for that kind of petty drama (and who isn’t, honestly).

Katy did it better.

-I’m actually not sold on Taylor’s jet-black hair. I know she’s going for a young Elizabeth Taylor-look, but I’m meh on the color on her in particular. Stop at dark brown Tay-Tay. Wait, is that ANOTHER jab at KP? Oh man, this is like a JFK conspiracy all of a sudden.

Did you enjoy the video’s insanity? Or is this becoming full-on T-Swizzle overload? Let us know below! Excuse me while I ponder the KP-TS feud’s significance in modern history.