The (Movie) Trailer Park: SPECTRE

Nearly three years after the release of Skyfall, James Bond is back. This time, we finally have a face to assign all the pain and suffering Daniel Craig’s Bond has underwent. And a (new) name for the organization behind it. Let’s watch some SPECTRE, yes?

-Craig looks great. Have we moved on past Skyfall’s plot of a Bond aged past his usefulness? (Which oddly came after the first two movies showing a “young” Bond on his first missions.)

-I see we haven’t moved past Bond operating outside the confines of MI6. What is the point of being in a government-funded spy operation if they NEVER back you up? JESUS. These flicks are turning into awkward clones of the Bourne movies, which essentially add up to one long chase scene. Maybe Bond doesn’t have to run from his employers in every movie, yeah?

spectre car

-FANCY CARS LOOK FANCY. How long before they get utterly WRECKED?

-So lemme get this straight. Daniel Craig (47) is going to definitely make-out with Monica Belluci (50). Naomie Harris (38), and probably Léa Seydoux (29). Because he’s BOND, right? Man. Every time.

Spectre Seydoux

-DAVE BAUTISTA. I just assume Dave here will be smashing and kicking his way through every obstacle, inanimate or otherwise. That neck snap was pretty boss, too.


-Cristoph Waltz is here to be maniacally creepy. We’ll see that at some point I’m sure. Right now he’s just hosting an evil dinner party.

-So it’s not Quantum he’s fighting anymore. It’s now SPECTRE. Okay, sure. But Mr. White is still our informant? Totally makes sense. Mhm.


Spectre Chopper

I love the Daniel Craig – Bond movies. (Even Quantum of Solace, in its own odd way.) Sam Mendes did great things in Skyfall, and I’m ready for the two-parter we’re getting in SPECTRE and Bond 25, both of which Mendes will direct. So get your tailored suits, laser wrist watches, and Walther PPK’s ready. Bond is coming back.