The (Movie) Trailer Park: Avengers: Age of Ultron

Yesterday news broke that the Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer would be accompanying the next episode of Agents of SHIELD on ABC. Well, those plans went quickly awry as someone leaked the trailer online a few hours later, which everyone lapped up even if it wasn’t all purty and “high-res.” Now that the proverbial cat was out of the bag, Marvel officially unleashed the trailer in all its glory. And boy is it glorious.

Well I just messed myself. Give me one moment.

Dean Waiting

Okay, I’m READY. LET”S BREAK THIS SHIT DOWN. Mild speculation/spoilery areas are below.

Here’s the official synopsis for those of you that want it. There’s some fun bits of plot in there as well as mentions of the newer characters.

-As for some of those new characters, I’ve once or twice forgotten that “the twins” are in this one with all the action that’s been rumored, but this trailer brought them right back to my nerdy attention. Elizabeth Olsen looks so badass and Aaron Taylor-Johnson looks, uh fast. And stuff.

Scarlet Witch AoU


-I’m SO looking forward to Chris Evans in this movie. He’s just perfect as Cap. And he’s going to be all broken and upset in this, I can tell. LET ME FIX YOU, OH CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN.

-Hulkbuster Iron Man might be worth the price of admission on its own.


And also THIS.

-Speaking of Hulks, the big green guy clearly loses it and the team is forced to shut him down, which is likely the precursor to the dejected scene in the quinjet. Now I’m assuming that Baron Strucker and his crew (last seen at the end of Captain America: The Winter Soldier) figure out how to use Loki’s scepter (the one with the mind gem attached to it) to mind control the Hulk and turn him loose.

-There’s no shot of the Vision! I know there’s only so much to slip into a two and a half minute trailer, but even a little glimpse of a yellow cape would have made me happy.

-Andy Serkis shows up! AS A REAL HUMAN BEING. Everyone’s thinking he plays Ulysses Klaw, a comic book baddie with a fantastic beard that is tied to the Black Panther as well as the metal that Cap’s shield is made out of. Vibranium for the win. (I think we already know how that busted shield gets repaired.) The melty-hand shot would suggest that Ultron uses the metal as armor for a subsequent iteration of himself.

Serkis Klaw

Look, he’s not just CGI!

-The Hulk and Black Widow touched hands and I was hit right in the feels.

-Shirtless Thor. We all had a to take a breather after that one, right?

Thor Sans Shirt AoU


(Note, I initially did a search for “steamy GIF” to find a properly fitting reaction to sans-shirt Thor. Let’s just say I probably didn’t need to do that search at work.)

-Doesn’t James Spader need to sound a little more… robot-y though? He sounds exactly like RDJ does in the Iron suit. I assume they’ll explain it to us that he’s “the “most advanced A.I. we’ve ever seen,” but I feel like a heavier contrast is needed. Not that just listening to a slightly tweaked James Spader isn’t creepy. ‘Cause it is.

Ultron AoU

Dude. Don’t look at me like that.

-April (because let’s face it, I’ll be watching this on whatever pre-opening day screening I can) is REALLY far away, you guys. I’m not sure I have the words to describe how I feel about this movie… wait. I found them.

Tony Stark need-it


Avengers: Age of Ultron is scheduled for release on May 1st, 2015.